Myra myra.. sedar2 dah nak masuk 11 months!!!.. When she turned 10 months (exactly) she stand up on her own two lil feet.. with no support whatever.. but yet still no sign of her trying to walk by herself.
I blame myself cos of the limited time spent exclusively with my lil one. Too many things are happening.. When moving from Doha, she was 7-8 months.. I had to juggle between arranging my departure; the packing, the shipping, the getting-signature-of-7-(yes, SEVEN) different-department-to-get-the-final-paycheque, the farewells, the not-that-busy-work-as-media-manager and her.. my precious.. my munchin, my uchuk.. I tried to be the best mother I could be.. although i had to get up real early to go to work, i would still try my best to cook her food.. (I was lucky to have met Annabel Karmel's book- the complete guide for a newby like me).. Most of her food are tasty and freezeable, so i could still maintain the home-cook meal for my lil one.
Hurm.. selame I'm in Doha.. my maid must have been the most relax maid ever.. she just hafta clean the house (which was quite big.. a 4+1 bedroom villa with a rear garden, but there's only 3 of us, so mustve been a piece of cake for her) and taking care of myra only when either me or aizal isn't around.. I'd do all the cooking and caring for Myra.
I blame myself cos of the limited time spent exclusively with my lil one. Too many things are happening.. When moving from Doha, she was 7-8 months.. I had to juggle between arranging my departure; the packing, the shipping, the getting-signature-of-7-(yes, SEVEN) different-department-to-get-the-final-paycheque, the farewells, the not-that-busy-work-as-media-manager and her.. my precious.. my munchin, my uchuk.. I tried to be the best mother I could be.. although i had to get up real early to go to work, i would still try my best to cook her food.. (I was lucky to have met Annabel Karmel's book- the complete guide for a newby like me).. Most of her food are tasty and freezeable, so i could still maintain the home-cook meal for my lil one.
Hurm.. selame I'm in Doha.. my maid must have been the most relax maid ever.. she just hafta clean the house (which was quite big.. a 4+1 bedroom villa with a rear garden, but there's only 3 of us, so mustve been a piece of cake for her) and taking care of myra only when either me or aizal isn't around.. I'd do all the cooking and caring for Myra.
Now that I'm in London.. coming home after work means, I am maid-ing myself; to either clean the dishes, do the laundry, ironing (which until now i failed to steal time for), or cooking and stocking for Myra. Plus all the extra work during off days - to shop and literally walk with the groceries in one hand and myra on the other or do all the other left-over chores. It was fine for the first 2 3 weeks.. I was feeling high.. I thought living in london isn't that bad after all..
but now.. I've reached my down limit.. I would constantly feel energyless.. Plus, with too many things happening; the toilet's leaking, the complaining neighbour and that ignorance landlord-who always says he'll take care of things-but-never-get-it-done-on-time and my poor husband-who were infected by tummy-bug.
When all were put on top of my shoulder, I realized. I'm not that strong anymore.
I cracked...
But the most dissapointment for me is when I can no longer spend a quality time with Myra; to train her, to tease her, to chase her, .. all i could do is to switch on Cbeebies and let her be amazed by technology while I'm in the kitchen, cooking (untuk bekal- maklumla makan kat office susah, not like in Doha where u could just buy anything you like, as all halal-guarantee). What a bad mother i have become.. :(
And today, when she lift her feet up high and sucessfully climb the sofa.. I knew that I've missed out a lot. It's time to slow down.. rest and make more quality time for her, or I'll miss out a lot more. That 3-4 months transition between Doha and London must have affected her in a way that she couldn't communicate.... poor baby
In less than 2 months.. my lil climber will turn 1.. and I wanna be the one to see through her first step.. Please god, gimme strength!
but now.. I've reached my down limit.. I would constantly feel energyless.. Plus, with too many things happening; the toilet's leaking, the complaining neighbour and that ignorance landlord-who always says he'll take care of things-but-never-get-it-done-on-time and my poor husband-who were infected by tummy-bug.
When all were put on top of my shoulder, I realized. I'm not that strong anymore.
I cracked...
But the most dissapointment for me is when I can no longer spend a quality time with Myra; to train her, to tease her, to chase her, .. all i could do is to switch on Cbeebies and let her be amazed by technology while I'm in the kitchen, cooking (untuk bekal- maklumla makan kat office susah, not like in Doha where u could just buy anything you like, as all halal-guarantee). What a bad mother i have become.. :(
And today, when she lift her feet up high and sucessfully climb the sofa.. I knew that I've missed out a lot. It's time to slow down.. rest and make more quality time for her, or I'll miss out a lot more. That 3-4 months transition between Doha and London must have affected her in a way that she couldn't communicate.... poor baby
In less than 2 months.. my lil climber will turn 1.. and I wanna be the one to see through her first step.. Please god, gimme strength!
Picture: Sebelum berjaye panjat dan selepas berjaye panjat.. budak uchuk ni.. cubit kang!